THANK GOD FOR YOUR JOBS!

If you think your job stinks, think again!







So....? :-)

TEACHER EFREN, CNN HERO OF THE YEAR, MABUHAY KA !

ZOE UPDATES

Yes. That's my precocious li'l pumpkin four-year old ZOE. If you try to look back at my previous entries about her you'll see how helpless and innocent she is and how she's suddenly turning into an adult..hehehe...Look how she poses for the cam!

She's now enjoying her toddler life at a preschool near our village. She can now recite the alphabet, count from 1 to 20, dance and sing NOBODY BUT YOU, POKER FACE and BOOM BOOM POW, and name all Kapuso stars and a number of the Kapamilyas. She does her naughty antics and gimmicks and then say "Hehehe..joke lang.."

On her birthday this coming December, she wants a Michael Jackson theme party. (Remember that she goes ga-ga over MJ eversince she was two?) She says she plans to wear the same jacket that MJ wore in his Thriller video. Des (her mom) and I thought, "That's actually a marvelous idea!" So right now I'm trying to google everything I can to conceptualize her birthday party. We don't want the usual cutesy-kiddie party but something that people will talk about. Hahaha.

This wondergirl never cease to amaze everybody in the house with her "adult" ideas. Oftentimes I would tell her, "'Lam mo Zoe, hindi ka ata 3 years old..25 years old ka na eh!" In which she'll respond, "Oy tati, three pa lang ako noh! Ano ka ba?!?"

Here are some vocabulary words that you'll never think a 3.5-year old could use:

- Nasalanta (as in "Bakit nasalanta sila ng bagyo, ha Tati?")
- Brakes ("Mommy, gusto kong gift yung bike na may brakes ha?")
- Boring ("Boring yan! Ayoko nyan!")

And her favorite expressions:
- "Ganito lang yan. Ano ka ba??" (It's like telling us how STUPID we are..hahaha..)
- "Okay lang yun."
- "Gusto mo bang masaktan?!" (Best explains her picture above)
- "Ay potek!" (But of course, we're guilty about this for using this expression..you know, potek as substitute for "p*ta"..)

Gawd, she's growing up so fast. 'Wag lang siya mag-asawa at ten years old. Teehee.

I'd Rather Leave While I'm In Love

Aptly dedicated to you, J...

ISLAMBUK

Found this in Hannah‘ s site and copied it. Mukhang masayang sagutan. Reminds me of my good ol’ high school days. Hehehe. Salamat, Hannah! :-)

1.Where did you take your profile picture?
At my ex-man’s house.:)

2.What exactly are you wearing right now?
White blouse with an avant-garde picture of a woman and black leggings. Black Hava flip-flops.

3.What is your current problem?
Hmm. My bum days aren’t over yet.

4.What makes you happy the most?
Playing with and taking to li’l Zoe who blabbers like a 20-year old adult. Freaky.

5. What’s the name of the song that you’re listening to?
“Fixing A Broken Heart” Whaddaf…courtesy of the jologs Internet Shop where I’m sitting right now.

6.Any celeb you would marry?
Hmm…How ’bout Kevin Bacon? *giggles*

7.Name someone with the same birthday as you?
My cousin Michelle…and my pop’s former boss…Ismael Mathay..of all people..

8.Ever sang in front of a large audience?
Oh yeah…Like, ending my repertoire with “Thank you, Araneta!”

9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Nadia Montenegro and Arlene Muhlach..heeyyy..back in our high school days, okei?! (defensive ampotek!)

10.Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
Gusto nyo kantahin ko pa mga theme songs eh!

11. Do you speak any languages?
English and Tagalog. French. I wish.

12. Has anyone you’ve been really close with passed away?
My Father . *sobs*

13.Do you ever watch MTV?
Occasionally.

14.What’s something that really annoys you?
Hmm. Third parties. *guffaws*

===============
Chapter 1:
===============

1.Middle name:
Meñez(from the Meñezes of Capiz/Aklan..nakksss..yabang..)

2.Nickname(s):
Pearl, Pher, Mar-ya (pop’s pet name), Tati (by Zoe)

3.Current location:
Internet Shop sa tabi-tabi

4.Eye color:
Dark Brown.

===============
Chapter 2:
===============

1.Do you live with your parents?
Yeah. Forced to. Hehehe…

2.Do you get along with your parent(s):
Forced to. Nyahaha.

3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced
Mom’s widowed.

4.Do you have any Siblings?:
I have one younger sister.

===============
Chapter 3: Favorites
===============

1. Ice Cream:
Anything chocolatey. Oh..and avocado too.

2. Season:
Summer. Kung may autumn dito, yun.

3.Shampoo/conditioner:
Pantene. Sunsilk. Palmolive. My hair can take anything.

===============
Chapter 4: Do You..
===============

1.Dance in the shower?
Yeah. Breakdance.

2.Do you write on your hand?
When the situation calls for it. Wag lang permanent marker.

3.Call people back:
Yes.

4.Believe in love?
Oo naman. Yung iba lang kase nako-confuse between that and lust. Hahaha!!

6. Any bad habits?
I snore!

==========
Chapter 5: Have You..
==========

1.Broken a bone?
I wish. Someone else’s sana…

2.Sprained stuff:
My left elbow when I was a kid.

3.Had physical therapy:
Psychiatric lang. Bwahaha. *Curls hair with left hand*

4. Gotten stitches:
Sa brain. Saka sa heart. (Bitter na naman e..)

5.Taken painkillers:
A lot! :-)
6. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling:
I wish. But first I gotta learn how to swim.

7.Been stung by a bee:
Nope.

8.Thrown up at the dentist:
Nope. The dentist did.

9.Sworn in front of your parents:
Yeah, a lot. And got good spanking too.

10. Had detention:
Nope. :))

11.Been called a hoe:
Nope. I do the swearing part. Hahaha

===============
Chaper 6:Who/What was the last:
===============

1.Movie(s):
Iskul Bukol the Reunion

2.Person to text you:
Si….wag na lang..baka may mag-react…Nyahaha!!

3.Person you called:
No one. :)) Lagi akong naka-unli.

4.Person you hugged:
Zoe bebe

5.Person you tackled:
Done a few weeks before.

6. Person you talked to on IM?
Si Ian :-)
7.Thing you touched?
Myself. Joke!

8. Thing you ate?
Kamote-que

9.Thing you drank:
Mountain Dew

10.Thing you said:
“Kuya extend pa ko”

===============
Chaper 7: Future
===============

1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Slaving hard in the academe and putting up my own pre-school

2. 10 years?
Running my own pre-school and having a family

3. 50 years?
Retarded. Este retired.

4. Where do you hope to live?
Paris

5. Do you want to be famous?
May magagawa ba ko kung sumikat ako? Duh?!

6. Do you want children? Or maybe animals?
Two kids who hopefully don’t behave like animals

7. Who do you think you will marry?
Hindi pa siya nagpapakita. Or baka may bumalik. Or baka naman nag-evolve na sa tao. Who knows.

HATE MAIL!

HUWAG KAYONG UMASTA NA PARANG WALA KAYONG GINAWANG KASALANAN SA KEN! KAYO PA ANG NAGMAMALAKI! LEAVE ME IN PEACE! YOU &$*@)S!

LIMANG MGA GAWAIN NA KINAMUMUHIAN KO!

Meron mga bagay-bagay o gawain na sadyang kinamumuhian mong gawin pero kailangan. Eto share ko ang ilan:

1. Magbukas ng mga bag of chips, shampoo at ketchup sa sachet. Hate ko tong gawin lalo na pag may TEAR HERE tapos wala namang cut para yun ang guide mo sa pagbubukas. Kailangan pang gamitan ng 'teeth power' para mabuksan! Grrrr!!!

2. Maghintay ng masasakyan. Kahit saan. Sa bus stop o sa terminal man, sobrang nakakaiiinniiissss mag-abang! Natext mo na lahat ng tao sa phonebook mo, nangulangot ka na, suminga, nagkamot ng pawis na kili-kili (pasintabi po sa mga kumakain), pero wala pa ring bus o jeep!

3. Umakyat ng hagdan dahil sira ang escalator o elevator. Oo na. Tamad na ko. Eh kase ang escalator ay para naman talaga sa mga taong tamad mag-burn ng calories. Eh sa ayoko ng ganong pagbabawas ng taba eh! Bakit ba! kaya inis ako kapag OUT OF ORDER ang escalator.

4. Magpaliwanag sa mga taong di makaintindi o sadyang shonga (read: TANGA, DUMB) lang. Yung tipong lahat na ng klaseng paliwanag, kulang na lang magsalita ka ng lahat ng lenggwahe para maintindihan ka. Na-paraphrase mo na ang gusto mong sabihin, ilang version na ang ginawa mong pag-esplika, pero ala pa din. Duh.

5. Magsalansan ng sinampay at magtupi ng mga ito. Dahil ako ay nabibilang sa mga taong ayaw sa routine, at ito ay isa sa mga routine kong maituturing, HATE KO TO. Pagkumpunihin mo na lang ako ng mga sirang bagay (pwede bang 'broken heart'?? Yiii...) wag lang 'to.

Hayan. Simple lang sila pero talagang ayaw ko sa mga ganitong gawain. Ayoko.

LIMANG MGA GAWAIN NA KINAMUMUHIAN KO!

Meron mga bagay-bagay o gawain na sadyang kinamumuhian mong gawin pero kailangan. Eto share ko ang ilan:

1. Magbukas ng mga bag of chips, shampoo at ketchup sa sachet. Hate ko tong gawin lalo na pag may TEAR HERE tapos wala namang cut para yun ang guide mo sa pagbubukas. Kailangan pang gamitan ng 'teeth power' para mabuksan! Grrrr!!!

2. Maghintay ng masasakyan. Kahit saan. Sa bus stop o sa terminal man, sobrang nakakaiiinniiissss mag-abang! Natext mo na lahat ng tao sa phonebook mo, nangulangot ka na, suminga, nagkamot ng pawis na kili-kili (pasintabi po sa mga kumakain), pero wala pa ring bus o jeep!

3. Umakyat ng hagdan dahil sira ang escalator o elevator. Oo na. Tamad na ko. Eh kase ang escalator ay para naman talaga sa mga taong tamad mag-burn ng calories. Eh sa ayoko ng ganong pagbabawas ng taba eh! Bakit ba! kaya inis ako kapag OUT OF ORDER ang escalator.

4. Magpaliwanag sa mga taong di makaintindi o sadyang shonga (read: TANGA, DUMB) lang. Yung tipong lahat na ng klaseng paliwanag, kulang na lang magsalita ka ng lahat ng lenggwahe para maintindihan ka. Na-paraphrase mo na ang gusto mong sabihin, ilang version na ang ginawa mong pag-esplika, pero ala pa din. Duh.

5. Magsalansan ng sinampay at magtupi ng mga ito. Dahil ako ay nabibilang sa mga taong ayaw sa routine, at ito ay isa sa mga routine kong maituturing, HATE KO TO. Pagkumpunihin mo na lang ako ng mga sirang bagay (pwede bang 'broken heart'?? Yiii...) wag lang 'to.

Hayan. Simple lang sila pero talagang ayaw ko sa mga ganitong gawain. Ayoko.

ZOE UPDATES

Haayyy...Look at my dear li'l pumpkin...so grown up and so independent..She's now 3 years and 5 months and is about to go to pre-school this year.

The other day I scouted a school for my precocious niece. I looked for a place just a few blocks away from our abode so it wouldn't be much of a hassle for her. Our neighbor suggested that we try this small Christian school outside our village. It wasn't exactly the PERFECT school that I envisioned for Zoe to study in but anyways, I brought her along so that she could more or less decide for herself if she wants it there. (Now Zoe can be veerrryyy meticulous at her age, mind you!) I happened to talk to the Head Teacher who turned out to be Zoe's future teacher should we make up our minds and settle her there. I found out that she's a trained Montessori educator like myself and, modesty aside, teachers under these category can really be BIGATIN! I've so much respect for these people because I have undergone this super-intensive training that got me eyebags and sleepless nights of studying Piagetian and Montessori theories and approaches. Para kaming nag-thesis uli. The teacher assured that she'll be using the said approach in her classes and have ordered some Montessori materials already. Perfect. So definitely, I checked QUALITY TEACHER on my list of CONSIDER THESE THINGS FOR PRE-SCHOOL.

So here's my list and how I went about evaluating them:

2. TUITION AND OTHER FEES PLUS THE PAYMENT SCHEMES. Hmmm..minimal...okay I guess it justifies everything listed on the paper.

3. THE CLASSROOM. Size? Checked. Ventilation? Checked. Safety? Checked.

4. FIRE EXIT. Yup. They have one.

5. SAFETY OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM. Okay, There's an inner gate for the preschool room and an outer gate for the entire school. Good.

6. SCHEDULE. 9 am 12 nn is fine with me. Ate Charina can stay with her the whole period and make chika with the other yayas. Hehehe.

7. BOOKS. Ameeyyzhheennngg. The pre-school kids will definitely have the time of their lives with the SEVEN books that they'll be using for the entire school year. Jeeezzz....And I thought it'll all be just FUN AND PLAY.

8. THE ENVIRONMENT. The school is surrounded with lush greeneries. Rice fields infront and trees all over the place. Cool. Now you get the picture of how PROVINCIAL our place is. Hehehe.

Owkei...I guess that's just about it. Next time Des the Mom will join me and see the place herself for final approval. I won't be paying for the tuition after all. Whew.

ENJOYING THE SIMPLE THINGS

Ever since I lost my job a few months ago I have been bumming around in the house whenever I have no appointments for job interviews. I got to do things that I wasn’t able to when I had work. Let me enumerate them:

1. Playtime with my one and only li’l pumpkin niece Zoe

Had fun playing doctor-doctor with her kiddie doctor kit, rock musician (Zoe is!) complete with the toy guitars her mom bought for her, and carinderia attendant with her toy kitchen gadgets. Hihihi…ohh to be child again J

2. Jog around the village with our angel Charina (as I’ve written in my previous blog entry)

Proud to say that I was able to shed a few extra pounds with this activity. Nakkkss!!! Hah! Hey you ex-man, come and see what you just lost!

3. Make-up sessions with Ate Charina

Obvious ba ang closeness naming ni Ate Cha? Hehehe…wala akong choice eh..siya lang ang pwedeng utuin sa aming home..Hihihi..Joke…Niwey, she bought a Revlon (shala!) make-up kit from a neighbor and she asked me to teach her how to apply make-up. What do you expect? She’s only 18 and she’s blooming into a pretty young lady! (Go Ate Cha!)

4. Cooking experiments in the kitchen

I have subjected my household to a daily culinary torture. They were actually surprised to see me bloom into a trying hard chef which was a far-cry from the Pearl they knew back when we were still in Parañaque. Hmm…I owe it to my stay in my ex-man’s place for quite some time J

5. GMA Telebabad in the Afternoon

For those of you who are KAPUSO, you know what I’m talking about. There are about four consecutive telenovelas after Eat Bulaga which I became fond of. Whadda…that’s about four and so hours of tireless non-stop drama!

6. Siesta time with Zoe

Ang sakit pala sa mata ng tulog sa hapon. Waahhh!! Baka lumobo naman ako ng husto!

7. Going senti over old photos

Meeeemmmooorrriiieesss….light the corners of your mind….move over Barbra Streisand! Have you ever tried this before? Para ka lang engots na binubuklat ng unti-unti yung pages ng photo albums mo..then tears start to well up in your eyes as you go over your childhood and teenage pics..sabay sabing…Gawd, I’m really getting old…

8. Availing the unlimited text of your mobile phone network

I started subscribing to unli when I became a bum. Forwarding cutie quotes and melodramatic messages weren’t exactly my fave. But when I began feeling bored and idle I discovered the fun and benefit of this unli craze that’s very much sought after today.

9. Blogging and surfing the net

Although I am already doing this even during office hours (hala ka!) I now have the time of my life to blog and surf for as long as I can without fear of getting caught. Wehehehe…

10. Picking kaimito form the neighborhood tree

Eto ngayon ang kinalolokohan ko. Saka correction, with permission naman ang pagkuha namin. Weelll…therapeutic siya…therapeutic in the sense na, pag may nakikita kong hinog na bunga sa puno, parang ang sarap ng feeling. Parang achievement siya on my part na makakuha ng prutas- straight from the tree. Hahaha! Ang babaw ba? Eh kaya nga simple things ang usapan di ba? Wag na ngang mangialam!

So there. I just realized that sometimes when you seemed to have ran out of reasons to live FUNCTIONALLY, there are things that you are missing somehow when you bury yourself from the piles of work you have on your work station. Just when you find comfort and enjoyment from a cup of coffee from Starbucks or from Yellow Cab deliveries, makikita mo rin pala ito sa isang simple at payak na kaimito.

CHECKLIST # 2: REKONEK!

Checklist # 1 of my MOVING ON LIST was all about keeping my physical self fit and healthy sans the ugly flabs and double chin coz' when the BIG GUY up there decides that I should meet the man of my dreams he'll fall for me instantly and at first glance. NOT! Just kidding.

Anyway, now I'm proud to say that I am FINALLY moving on after the storm. I just came to a realization that no matter how hard I try to win him back I couldn't actually hold his heart and his decisions (that's exactly what I told him in my last text message). I mean, I'd be forever tied up to this fantasizing emotion that he'll come back in my arms and just forget everything. Yeah, yeah. I sucked. Say what you want to say. Sige pag-nainlab din kayo you'll understand what I'm getting at.

CHECKLIST # 2 is all about re-establishing my relationships with the rest of my loved ones- my family, my old friends, and hopefully, begin new friendships wherever I maybe. I guess it's about time I'm making up for my absence especially from my family who's been making tampo already coz' I haven't been too visible in gatherings and other special occasions. Same with my old friends. A month ago my kaberks from RMM, Beth and Charrie, visited me (yesss! moral support!) and had a sleep-over in our Cavite abode. The next day, we went swimming at a resort near our place. It was so much fun! Sobrang na-miss ko talaga sila! After about three looong years huh!

Then recently I attended a get-together of my BuhayKristo email group (see photos) and had dinner somewhere in Makati after I met with a former colleague (okay, okay BOSS..hehehe). Kuya Romi and his wife Ate Rose from US came for a medical mission here and decided to meet us up. I was so blessed to have met once again the BK gang: Jaypz, Kuya Benj, Mama Glad and LJ. Sabi ko nga I'll be regularly visible na uli i our BK Bible Studies. Wow...humahaba na ang to-do list ko ah.

Well, so far so good. Part of the healing process, 'ika nga. No room for sulking and bitter-bitteran. Not healthy. And besides, que sera, sera. Kung kami, kami. Hahaha. Asa.

CHECKLIST # 1: ENERGY!

I got up at 3:30 AM this morning, disturbed by a recurring dream of two significant people who recently figured in the most traumatic, roller-coaster experience of mi vida loca. It was not nightmarish, just some scenes from the past when everything was oh-so-fine and when I can still define what real friendship is in the deepest sense of the word.

At that same time our ever-faithful, zany kasambahay, whom li’l Zoe fondly calls Ate Joy (or Charina, or Cha) was already up and about, preparing breakfast for my bro-in-law who had to leave at 4:30 AM. I thought, hmm, I might as well carry on my plan of losing these flabs and start brisk-walking around the village. Ate Joy asked if she could go with me after bro-in-law leaves for work. (You see, she’s also on the heavy side) What a great idea! Heck, of course you can! I told her. So off we traipsed along the quiet roads of our village, not missing any street coz’ I wanna maximize my time and effort, all the while thinking how much calories I am going to burn for today. Ate Joy was in slippers, so I told her to borrow my mom’s rubber shoes for tomorrow’s session and the next J

It was therapeutic since I also used the time conversing with God as I jogged and walked and jogged and walked around the basketball court in our clubhouse. We ended the session by teaching Ate Joy some stretches and tae-bo moves I learned when I was still engaged in aerobics about eons ago. I have to admit, I had so much fun!

We went back home at around 6 AM and found Zoe already in the living room and waiting for her mom to leave for work. After which she led me to their room so that she could play with Pooh and her other tropang stuffed toys: Toto (Big Bird), Pikachu and Barney while I browsed over sis’ audio cd’s and played Chain of Fools by Aretha Franklin- my top favorite for dancing. I noticed that my three-year old niece Zoe was getting into the groove, flapping her arms and head-banging. Hahaha. Gawd. It was so hilarious! So I got up and danced frantically with her, moving around in circles like sillies. Gee. I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything else. Hehehe.

What used to be a sore feeling that morning when I woke up was replaced by a revitalized energy and hope that the rest of my bum days would be something worth-waiting for. Thanks Ate Joy and my pumpkin Zoe gurl!

CHAIN OF FOOLS (Aretha Franklin)

I just figured out that this song could pretty much be MY song too! Hehehe. Watch the video and read on...






Chain, chain, chain,chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools
Five long years I thought you were my man
But I found out I'm just a link in your chain
You got me where you want me I ain't nothing but your fool
You treated me mean oh you treated me cruel
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools

Every chain has got a weak link
I might be weak child, but I'll give you strength
You told me to leave you alone
My father said come on home
My doctor said take it easy
Whole bunch of lovin is much too strong
I'm added to your chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain,
Chain, chain of fools

One of these mornings the chain is gonna break
But up until then, yeah, I'm gonna take all I can take
Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools

ON MY OWN

“Try It On My Own”

I’m wiser now
I’m not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I’m stronger now
I’ve learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don’t care if I’m right or wrong
I’ll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I’ll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own
Yeah yeah, mmm, yeah yeah

It’s over now
I can’t go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don’t know by now
I can’t go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it’s time for me to take control

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don’t care if I’m right or wrong
I’ll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I’m gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it

Oh I start again go back to one
I’m running things my way
Can’t stop me now, I’ve just begun
Don’t even think about it
There ain’t no way about it
I’m taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I’m gonna take my turn
It’s time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone

I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don’t care if I’m right or wrong
I’ll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I’m gonna keep it real you know
It’s time for me to do it
See I’m not afraid

To do it on my own…

BIZAARE LOVE TRIANGLE: Anatomy of a Cheating Husband

I chanced upon this while I was trying to seek for answers as to why this unfortunate incident happened to me (or us). As of this writing though, I'd like to tell you that all's well with me and the other girl involved. Now that I have brought this out in the open, I just want to share with this article based from an episode in Oprah regarding CHEATING HUSBANDS.

Read on and hope you learn something from it:

When Your Husband Cheats with Your Best Friend

It's every wife's worst nightmare. The ultimate betrayal—what would you do?
When your husband cheats with your best friend

From The Oprah Winfrey Show "When Your Husband Cheats with Your Best Friend"

Chandra remembers the day she married David as a "beautiful" winter wedding, complete with the perfect dress, great friends and family. Years later, David and Chandra, parents to three young children, continue to surround themselves with trusted friends.

Over the years, Chandra says one friend in particular became a big part of her life. "I felt like her big sister in a way," she says. "[David and I] went camping with her and her husband. … I trusted her." When Chandra's best friend moved away with her husband and baby, Chandra was heartbroken. Not long after the move, the friend and her baby came to visit David and Chandra. Upon their arrival, Chandra says something seemed off. "She almost seemed mad at me, like I was kind of in her way, and I was irritating to her," she says.

Chandra also noticed that David was spending a lot of time alone with her friend. "In the back of my mind I thought, 'Okay, something's not right.' I just had a feeling … a gut feeling." Then came the bombshell. Chandra read her best friend's diary and discovered that she was having an affair with David.

At first, Chandra's best friend and husband denied that their affair was physical. Then, Chandra learned the truth. David says he never had feelings for the other woman until she moved away. Then, he started chatting with her online and their relationship progressed from a friendship into something more. "I confided in her instead of my wife," David says. "It happened very quickly because we knew each other. It wasn't like I was meeting somebody off the street. [She and her husband] were our best friends, and I knew what she was like."

The emotional affair became physical just three days after Chandra's best friend and her baby arrived for a visit, David says. David says he slept with Chandra's friend multiple times during her visit—once in a car and once in their home…while his wife was upstairs.

"I could have bet a million dollars [that] this would have never happened to me," Chandra says. "Let alone with a close friend." After nine years of marriage, David says he strayed because he felt boxed in and didn't feel like he was heard in his marriage. While Chandra tried controlling him, David says the other woman made him feel good about himself, helped his self-esteem and told him the things that he wanted to hear. Now, David realizes he's "a very selfish person" and wants more discipline in his life.

"I do want to be controlled because I'm not in control of myself," he says. "It's about pride for me. I've got a pride issue that I've got to deal with." Since the affair, David has also had trouble reconciling his actions with his beliefs. "This has been a real moral bomb in my life. I'm a church-going, Bible-believing person, you know? Morally it hurts me. I said to my wife last night it feels like cancer."

Psychologist Dr. Robin Smith says pride isn't David's problem…it's anger. "Affairs are often full of rage and hostility," Dr. Robin says. "They are a way that people communicate, without saying a word." Instead of looking back through his marriage for the root of his problems, Dr. Robin tells David to think back even further. "All of us get wounded in childhood.

You did not create this kind of self-destruction in your life, in your wife's life, in the lives of your children without a wound starting in childhood," she says. "Who pulled the rug from underneath you? That's what you've done to your family, and we learn that behavior somewhere. … Someone teaches us how to be mean." "I love my father, but my father … he doesn't listen to my mom," David says.

"He doesn't respect her. He doesn't listen to anybody." Dr. Robin says David's childhood pain is the real cancer in his life. David's tearful admission is the beginning of his healing, she says. "The fact that you just spoke that truth, now you're on your way to freedom."

David says he has not been in contact with Chandra's friend since their affair was exposed. "I have no desire to ever talk to that woman again," he says. "I do love my wife. I do know it's about me and my problems."

Dr. Robin says David also needs to learn to love himself so that he doesn't fall victim to the "fantasy" of an affair again. "[An affair is] an illusion. It's not real. She's not real. Whatever she told you about yourself is not real," she says. "Your low self-esteem must be healed from the inside out, and your wife can be a partner in helping you heal, but she can't heal you." Chandra says her marriage is still on shaky ground, but she and David are trying to make it work. "There's a lot of hurt there, and there's a lot of betrayal," she says. "We're working on it. But, you know what? I want to see him be who I know he can be."

FINDING OUT THE HARD WAY

A year ago I had a blog entry here about a boyfriend who has a girl bestfriend and they were so close the bf's girlfriend started to doubt their closeness. Turns out that the gf's suspicions were true. You can just imagine how the girlfriend's world crumbled down to find out she was actually the last one to know. And so I dedicated this to her..for him...and vice versa...

Finding Out The Hard Way - Cynthia Rhodes

I can't take all the blame, now can I
It takes more than one to lose such a fine line
That lies between, that holds together
I'll turn the night to turn the tide, oh! ...

Chorus:
And I'm, findin' out the hard way
It's gonna take some tears
A little bit of heartache
We're like islands in the stream
Watchin' all our dreams start to fade
Fadin' away ...

A moment gone is gone forever
It's like water through your hands
And you go spin the wheel of misfortune
Watchin' in turn, with livin' you learn
And oh!
(Repeat chorus)

Bridge:
I keep reachin' out
I've come up empty handed
And then I let you down
But then I leave you stranded
(Repeat chorus)
Adlib:

And I'm, findin' out the hard way
It's gonna take some tears
A little bit of heartache
We're like islands in the stream
Watchin' all our dreams
Start to fade, fade away ...
(Repeat chorus)

Start to fade, fade away
Start to fade, fade away

CHUGI 2

As for me, pagpasok ko ng Tuesday ay binulaga rin ako ng de putang singkit na manager. Hindi ako nagpabulaga. Puta ka, manager ka nga pero di mo ko kayang paikutin sabi ko sa sarili ko. Gagawin raw nila akong MANAGEMENT SECRETARY. Whaddafuck?!? Eto ang conversation namin:

DPSM (go figure): Pearl I’m sure you already know all about this…
ME: (Poker face) Uh-huh
DPSM: We decided to place you in the Management as Secretary.
ME: Are you serious? You tell me first why you dissolved the Training Department without prior notice. You know, without informing us beforehand.
DPSM: It was the management’s decision. It’s called redundancy. We felt that we could just actuallly tap the team leaders to do the training instead.
ME: What happens to my people then?
DPSM: They’ll go back to Operations and start calling again (sic).
ME: This is really bad, Ms._________. This is unfair. These people worked so hard and they were able to produce quality agents. I’m sure you’re aware of that.
DPSM: Yes, yes of course.
ME: Then why the sudden decision? You didn’t give them ample time to absorb and think about it!
DPSM: Im sorry about that. But it’s really Boss’ (CEO) decision.
ME: I’m not sure if I could take your offer. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t sign that document (movement form).
DPSM: But you already had enough time yesterday to think it over because you were also informed by your colleagues about it right?
ME: Yes but I also have the right to weigh things first right?
DPSM: Okay then we’ll give you time to decide and let’s talk again before the end of the day.
ME: I’ll have to talk to the HR Manager first.
DPSM: Sure.

So hayun.Hindi ko pinirmahan yung Notice of Personnel Action (NPA) na tinatawag. Nakasaad duon na ililipat ako ng posisyon from SENIOR TRAINER to MANAGEMENT SECRETARY.
Kita nyo naman ang difference di ba? Klarong-klaro na demotion yun. Pucha, hindi ako nag-aral ng apat na taon sa kolehiyo at naghirap sa Master’s degree ko para utus-utusan ako ng mga lecheng managers ng kumpanya. I’ve nothing against secretaries, pero alam ko naman ang kalibre ko at hindi ko minsan plinanong magsekretarya. Ipilit ba!

Next kong kinausap ang bobang HR manager namin na kinamumuhian din ng kanyang mga sariling subordinates dahil daig pa ang Malabanan sa sipsipan. Kinumbinse nya rin akong pirmahan ang form.

BHRM (go figure again): Pearl ano na desisyon mo? Ganito kase yun. Nakita kase namin yung credentials mo at alam naming chicken feed lang sa yo yung job. Kesa wala di ba? Mahihirapan ka maghanap ng work kase Pasko…hindi nagtatanggapan…
ME: Yun nga problema eh. Ginipit nyo kami! Yung mga tao ko walang choice kase mga wala pang experience yan sa labas. Kaya takot magresign. Ma’am unfair labor practice ito! Kung ganito pala ang mangyayari sana may one month notice man lang kayo. You can look it up in the Labor Code if you want.
BHRM: (Silent for a few minutes) Redundancy ang tawag sa ganitong move Pearl (Pucha kayo kaya ang redundant!) Saka di naman sila madidisplace eh.
ME: So yung kaso ko paano? Are you still going to give me the same rate?
BHRM: Of course naman (Talagang of course dahil for sure naisip nyo na na mayayari kayo sa DOLE pag nagkataon. Hmmm…nag-iisip kahit paano…)
ME: Ok ganito na lang.
At this point nag-isip ako nang matindi. Ayokong madisplace ng alanganin. Pag nagresign ako hindi ko pa make claim kaagad ang 13th month pay ko which is on the 20th. (December 15th at that time) Next month pa yun maibibigay sa ‘ken.

ME: Gagawin ko yung inoffer nyong job sa ken pero I’ll file my resignation effective December 20th. For the mean time I won’t sign that form. (Shempre ayokong matali ng ano mang contract. Neknek nila.)
BHRM: Sige, sige. I understand.
ME: Okay. Thank you.

Akala siguro nila mga tanga kame. Naipit lang kami sa sitwasyon. Feeling ko pati timing plinano. Magte-13th month pay na. Hindi agad-agad yan aalis, sabi siguro nila. Pero eventually we’ll get rid of them. Hayup sila. I’m sure karmang bonggang-bongga ang mangyayari sa mga responsableng demonyo na ‘yan. Malinaw na malinaw sa amin ang totoong dahilan. Nalulugi na ang kumpanya at nagbabawas na sila ng mga tao.Dahil hindi kami napakikinabangan directly in terms of production, ‘lam nyo na, PERA, we were the first to go. Pero di kami papayag na aalis kaming walang dignidad. Lalaban kami kung kinakailangan.

CHUGI

Anong mararamdaman mo kung isang araw magigising ka na lang at malalaman mong dinissolve na ang inyong departamento at ang mga kasama mo ay isa-isang pinadala sa iba’t-ibang grupo tapos ikaw inilagay ka sa isang posisyong ni sa hinagap ay di mo akalaing paglalagyan mo?

Ganyan ang nangyari sa ‘min Lunes ng linggong ito. Absent ako nun kase may sakit ako. Pinatawag yung mga tao namin. Nga pala, FYI, nasa Training Department kami nabibilang. Naunang kinausap yung head namin na tinuring na naming tatay dahil sobrang bait nya- professional yet very approachable at galante. Nagtaka yung mga kasama ko kung bakit. Tapos sila na yung kinausap nung singkit na manager at yun nga ibinalita na bubuwagin na ang Training at ibabalik ang mga trainers sa Operations department na kinabilangan nila nuon. Pilit nilang inalam kung ano talaga ang rason. Kesyo redundancy na raw dahil sa kanya-kanyang teams, tinuturuan na rin naman ang mga agents ng kanilang mga leaders while on the floor. Tang ina…eh yung mga team leaders na yun karamihan sa kanila mga pulpol at ang nag-train sa kanila nuon ay hindi kami kundi mga Pinoy na managers na nagmamagaling at kahit na ang tawag ng isang manager sa “mirror”ay “meror” at ang “pillow” ay “pelow”. Iginiit pa nya dati sa amin na mali kami ng sinabi naming “increase in the SALES” at sinabi nya na dapat raw ay “increase in the SELLS”.Putangna talaga.

Anyway, wala ngang nasabing valid reason ang de putang singkit na manager. At ang foul pa duon, pinagdesisyon sila right there and then kung willing silang bumalik sa operations or they have to go. Shet. Pinagawa sila ng isang desisyon na babago sa career nila sa luob lamang ng limang minuto.In other words ginipit sila. Isipin nyo you live and breathe Training tapos in a matter of minutes bigla nilang hihigupin yung buhay mo sa ‘yo? Di ba mega bad trip yun?

Umiiyak sila at humahagulgol na nagdesisyon na magpalipat na lang kase nga nagipit. Magpapasko pa naman. Lateral transfer raw yun.Punyeta. Paanong magiging “lateral transfer”kung lumalabas na parang “demotion” ang nangyari since mas mataas talaga kung tutuusin ang trainers sa agents? Kasingkitid ng mga mata ng mga putang managers na yan ang kanilang mga utak. Dagdag mo pa yung mga lecheng Pinoy managers na walang mga bayag para mag-isip at kumontra sa desisyong ito. Hindi ba nila naisip na mas angat ang katalinuhan namin sa kanila at puwede namin silang kasuhan sa kagaguhan nila?